Blog Posts, Past Autoimmune Experience, Personal Life

This is devastating for me to even bring up.

I’m a college graduate who got sick at the worst time. Lupus is a tricky asshole who likes to play games that I don’t want to be a part of anymore. I am not physically stable enough to hold a job right now. I’m in the middle of a disability claim that was recently denied after waiting 6 months and now I’m fighting to get a reconsideration. I haven’t had an income since October and I can’t afford to live. I can’t afford to pay my bills. I can’t afford to buy the proper food to help sustain whatever health I have left in me. My medical bills keep piling and piling on top of each other with no end in sight. My student loans are ridiculous and I have to pay to defer them every three months – which doesn’t even make sense because I can’t afford to pay them so why would they think I can pay to defer them? I had to stop going to a much needed hand therapist because I couldn’t afford the weekly co-pays anymore. This isn’t a post to make you feel bad. This is a desperate human who’s at a really low point in her life who just needs some help at the moment. I won’t be sick forever and I won’t be trapped in this low point forever, but for now I’m embarrassingly asking for help. I am posting my info for PayPal and Venmo in an attempt to raise enough money to at least get me through the next few months while my disability claim gets processed and hopefully approved. This money will go towards food, co-pays, bills and my necessities such as hygiene products. The link will be below. Anything helps and I can’t even begin to express my gratitude for those who are able to assist. For those who aren’t able, I ask that you share this post to get the word out there. I’m so sorry that I even have to publicly be doing this.

PayPal: my email is

Venmo: Hailey-Neluna or (enter one of these when searching for someone on the Venmo app)

Again, anything is much appreciated. Thank you for your donations, karma will take care of you❤️

20 thoughts on “This is devastating for me to even bring up.”

  1. I understand your feelings. I did a fundraiser awhile back and some of my good friends donated and it really saved me. I hope the same turns out for you. I wanted to tell you that the paypal link didn’t work when I clicked on it, it just led me to a blank page. I used the platform called “Youcaring” to do my fundraiser, I liked it better than gofundme and a larger percentage of the donations go directly to you. In the end it was a good experience in humility and human kindness to ask for monetary help. I NEVER imagined I would be in such a position as I have been fiercely independent throughout my life. Another thing I was forced to do was to go to a food bank, which was also a good experience. They actually had some healthy choices that I could eat. Again, something I never imagined. I have the student loan problem as well. I’ve also been through the disability thing. If it is through SSA my understanding is that unless you are missing your arms and legs or in a coma, you will be forced to go through 2 denials and a court appearance before you are approved. The entire process can take up to a year to 18 months. If you don’t have an attorney, I advise getting one as I tried to do it myself the first time and I got nowhere. Everytime I got the denial letters I felt invalidated and worthless. I don’t want to discourage you further, I just want you to know what to expect. Your experience may be different and I don’t have a Lupus diagnosis so that may help your case. But everyone I’ve talked to insists that everyone gets their first application denied. It’s a messed up system just like the medical system. But hopefully you will have a better experience or hopefully you are not dealing with the SSA. Hugs to you. Take care. There is meaning to all of this suffering we experience, and I say that for you as well as myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your response. I changed the link to an email instead because the link wouldn’t work for me either, thanks for letting me know. And yeah I’ve been told that you get denied almost every time unless you’re basically dead but I actually did get a lawyer for this second go around so hopefully it will help me out in this situation. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope your situation eased up a bit or is better than it was! I feel like I have exercised all my friends and family for money and I hate to even ask anyone for anything because I’m really independent ass well and have always found my own way. But this time is different and I feel like I have no other option than to just wait it out with my fingers crossed and hope I get approved for disability. I know there’s meaning to all of this and it’ll just take some time to crack the codes. Thanks for reaching out ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry to hear about al this. It must be so hard. Do you have a relative who can help you out? I’m in Australia and there are lots of resources here for people who are in need. I’m not saying it’s perfect here or anything! But here there is at least a proper health care system for all. I hope you can find the help you need. Stay safe. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so sorry your going through this. My grandmother had lupus and my doctors want to test me for it but they say I’m too young. I hope things get better.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My doctor refuses to test me for it till I’m 25. Even with my family history and them seeing signs. 😦 I can’t wait to hear more about ur story.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think many of us with chronic illness face similar challenges. Our financial situation is not helped at all by ridiculous rules, like making less than $800/month in outside income reducing disability payments, having to wait two long and painful years before Medicare kicks in to help and having no more than $2,000 in assets to be on Medicaid. The system is set up to keep the chronically ill in poverty.

    My friend, Lily, has a great blog full of helpful posts on a variety of things pertaining to disability, poverty, and healthcare. You can find it at

    All my very best wishes to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! That’s why I started this blog because I truly believe I can cure myself of all illness and bring my body back to its normal state. Then I don’t have to deal with this financial side of chronic illness. Thank you so much for the information and I’ll definitely check out her blog!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m also disabled but was denied disability so my husband is our only income. The only thing I can offer you is well wishes (though I know that won’t pay the rent). I also have student loans that are in deferment so I know your struggle. I wish I could offer you more, but… good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

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