Jumbled Thoughts & Feelings

The number one thing to remember while healing is to always trust your intuition. This is so easy for me to type but when it comes to actually living it, it’s so hard.

So many people have showed me who they really are and where they stand with my lifestyle choices. It’s upsetting and maybe that’s what has put me in this funk. I have to constantly remind myself that the choices I make, the opinions I form, and the knowledge I learn is my decision. This is my life and the way I live my life should be based off of what what my intuition feels is right for the greatest and highest good for one and all.

During the process of healing, you’re constantly growing a deeper connection to self which will ultimately lead you to learning how to listen to your own intuition. And I’m getting really fucking good at it. Not only am I really starting to learn myself from the inside out, but my claircognizance abilities have improved greatly. Which means that I can see right through you. No matter how hard you try to put up a fake front, I can read you on a deeper level than the physical. At first I thought I was going crazy (which is normal when working with your subtle senses) but then I realized – NO, this is a gift and I am going to embrace it. I am not crazy and it’s not in my head. This is real life super powers that we all possess, some of us just aren’t connected enough to ourselves to use it.

I have made the necessary mindset shifts and have removed people, places, things, beliefs, and morals that no longer resonate with me. This is an ever-changing process as well and I welcome all change without judgement. It’s the egoic mind trying to butt in and tell me that I’m wrong, that what I am doing with my life is a waste, that people are criticizing me more than they are supporting me – thats all a mindset I’m currently trying to break free from.

This shit is hard and just because I may know a few things doesn’t excuse me from the experience. I’m really living this life right now – that’s a trippy thought.

Most of the time, writing on here or social media has nothing to do with the audience. It’s a way for me to cope with the experiences I am living out. We all have our paths and we all have our own lessons to be analyzed at different points in our lives. As I walk this path of mine, it seems I have chosen to live out the life of the most intense healing that my soul can handle. I’ve come to terms with this and now it’s just a matter of trying to remember why I am doing what I do when the ego tries to step in and talk me out of it.

A few things I had to share that I have taken note of:

Clear your space – physically and energetically. Physically remove and throw out shit you’ve been holding on to that serves no purpose anymore. Burn sage and palo santo to clear the negative and dirty energies that you’ve allowed to enter your space.

Remove toxic people and relationships – this is something that many don’t fully grasp the concept of. Take away our societal structures and see yourself as just a human. No matter who the person may be, if they do not support you and what your passionate about, there’s no room for them energetically in your life. Holding space for someone to grow is part of learning this healing process. So allow space to be held in your heart for whoever that person may be, and for now cut chords with them so that they no longer can feed off of you energetically without your permission. Holding space for them means that you are allowing that person to exist freely at whatever point they are at mentally, without them effecting your life.

Setting boundaries – this is going off of the paragraph above. You have to set the boundaries that will keep you and your energy safe. Cutting chords with someone doesn’t mean that you no longer love them or that you don’t want them in your life at all. It means that you are setting a boundary that they cannot cross without your permission. Cut the chords with whoever is coming to mind, and don’t allow them back into your awareness until they can meet you on an energetic level. This is no way is saying that one person is better than the other. This is simply just a form of self love and an act of self care. Setting boundaries, especially with family, is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

As someone who feels everyone so deeply and knows things that can’t be logically justified, it is super important to protect myself from all angles in any way that I can.

This is a great journal entry to ponder on often: I allow myself to freely express my needs and feelings. I allow myself to remove those who don’t support my choices. It is not my job to take responsibility for others. I am responsible for my own happiness. Others do not have to agree with me but they have absolutely no right to tell me what I think or do is wrong. I am in charge of my reality. I am enough. 

If you just turn off your logical mind for two seconds, you’ll be able to very subtly feel your intuition trying to communicate with you. Listen, and see what happens.

I don’t really know the point of this entry but I everything I write always has something to teach me. So if this doesn’t make sense to you as the reader, maybe it isn’t for you at all. Maybe this is just me getting out a bunch of ideas and concepts that needed to be written in sentences so that they could be released from me. Or maybe this triggers you, and you’re left with emotions that have been begging to be looked at.

Either way, if you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading. Isn’t being human really fucking weird? I think so. Why not try to do this together and start supporting each other in whatever stage of healing we’re in? I know that’s something I’ll be trying harder to live out.

What’s true for me doesn’t have to be true for you, and that’s okay.  Does this whole thing even makes sense? Does this life even make any sense? Does anyone actually know anything? There’s WAY more to life than this physical world with lost logical minds walking around. Open your mind and try to see the magic in the cycles and the lessons and the dreams. Are these thoughts jumbled enough for you? Cause they’re somehow confusing me but at the same time, it’s somewhat liberating.

Love you

xoxo, Hailey